Overall, I have a hard time disagreeing with you. It's worth pointing out, though, that early on, especially in elementary school, talking it out might work, especially among lightweight bullies with more talk than physical action.
This reminds me of an odd story. In middle school, there was this kid on my bus who I found amusing. I mean, something about him was just comical to me. I didn't dislike him, either. I'd point this out to him and others from time to time – I think the label I'd use was "doofy." It turns out I was being an asshole and I didn't even know it. What I viewed as innocent ribbing was hurting his feelings. From his perspective, I was a bully.
One of his teachers came with him and intercepted me on the way to a class. She confronted me on my behavior. All at once, I saw it from his perspective and felt terrible. I started sobbing in apology, knowing at once the pain of being in his position and feeling like a monster at having slid into this most loathsome role.
He accepted my apology and from then on, all was well. The teacher was, I think, entirely shocked. This was the last outcome she expected, but she handled it all with grace and we were friendly after that. I'm glad he spoke up and I'm glad his teacher was on his side. It was an important moment for me.
Once you start to get older, though, the physical elements become very real. Moreover, not everyone is well-meaning. If it's a choice between getting damaged or protecting yourself, I agree – demonstrate strength. If I had a kid, I'd rather deal with him getting suspended, attaching a price to being physically screwed with, than lose that child to suicide or death of personality thanks to unreasoning "human" beasts.
This reminds me of an odd story. In middle school, there was this kid on my bus who I found amusing. I mean, something about him was just comical to me. I didn't dislike him, either. I'd point this out to him and others from time to time – I think the label I'd use was "doofy." It turns out I was being an asshole and I didn't even know it. What I viewed as innocent ribbing was hurting his feelings. From his perspective, I was a bully.
One of his teachers came with him and intercepted me on the way to a class. She confronted me on my behavior. All at once, I saw it from his perspective and felt terrible. I started sobbing in apology, knowing at once the pain of being in his position and feeling like a monster at having slid into this most loathsome role.
He accepted my apology and from then on, all was well. The teacher was, I think, entirely shocked. This was the last outcome she expected, but she handled it all with grace and we were friendly after that. I'm glad he spoke up and I'm glad his teacher was on his side. It was an important moment for me.
Once you start to get older, though, the physical elements become very real. Moreover, not everyone is well-meaning. If it's a choice between getting damaged or protecting yourself, I agree – demonstrate strength. If I had a kid, I'd rather deal with him getting suspended, attaching a price to being physically screwed with, than lose that child to suicide or death of personality thanks to unreasoning "human" beasts.