Hacker Newsnew | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submitlogin

> but I've felt the gradual drift

I'm not sure why there would even be a gradual drift? My friends who aren't in tech are generally my most fun and interesting friends. We play D&D, we have dinner or drinks at each other's houses, we talk about anime and music and video games, we play with each other's dogs.

The only version of this I have experienced is the one where my non-tech friends are being forced out of my city via skyrocketing housing prices, which are largely due to - you guessed it - tech. It's upsetting, but there's little I can do about it except trying to keep in touch over distance.



Do you own a house in that city? If so, you would suddenly have a ton of house ownership problems your friends can't relate to. It is those sorts of things I am referring to

I can't help that one of my most active chats right now is speculative investing, and it simply is not a game for e.g. people with high rate debt

Then what about making someone feel shitty for describing your day? That you took a day off due to stress, and you remind them of their unchecked mental health crisis? I'm not saying you can't be a good friend through this, but that you need to be a good friend through this. This makes it much more doable with long-time friends rather than new people who you subconsciously pick as being like you


Sure, I guess those things just don't come up as much (and I will admit I intentionally avoid talking about certain subjects). But I wouldn't say that gradually erodes the friendship; we just relate over different things.


I don't actually have that much overlap with my friends in the first place.

We just have a select few common interests and enjoy each other's company.

I have a different circle of friends for most interests, there's not even any overlap between the ones I online game with or dirtbike with. Hell there's not even overlap between the dirtbike friends and street riding friends. I have interests that aren't shared with any of them.

Buying a house in the city is just adding another interest to the pile of interests that only apply randomly to a small fraction of my friends.


It doesn't have to be a problem, however sharing fewer interests is what I meant by 'gradual drift'. Someone I share 0 interests with that also doesn't just enjoy my company I will eventually interact less and less with. If you keep multiple diverse friend groups, you're definitely less prone to this issue




Consider applying for YC's Fall 2026 batch! Applications are open till July 27.

Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: