> I find it hard to see the implicit sexism in this.
The investopedia page is rather coy,
> There are conflicting etymologies for this phrase, but the one closest to its current business connotation is the idea of Japanese people loosening their kimonos to relax at home, much like loosening a tie. [1]
Women in Japan haven't exactly enjoyed equal status in the western sense and there is a boat load of subjugation that probably went into coming up with this phrase. The worst example is probably the use of "comfort women" [2] by the Japanese army in WW II. These women were enslaved for sex.
So of course a woman would find this offensive, particularly when directed at her, since if you know any history it is easy to imagine this phrase originating from "open your kimono and have sex with me." I can also imagine oblivious men in tech repeating it if they didn't "get it" at first because they had heard other men use the phrase without realizing its origin. However you do deserve to be called out if you continue using it while feigning ignorance. Your response should simply be, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the implications of this phrase. I'll stop using it." And if you can't do that then HR should get involved.
Is there any link between "open the kimono" and "comfort women" or is that conjecture?
It's a fascinating phrase, perhaps not least because nobody knows where it comes from but somehow people also seem to know that it's innocuous or know that it's sexist.
That was conjecture on my part. Now that I read more of that investopedia link, I see it likely came from Jobs, which would explain the use of the phrase at Apple,
> Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, notably used the expression in 1979 during a visit to Xerox Parc. He reportedly said: “Look, I will let you invest a million dollars in Apple if you will sort of open the kimono on Xerox Parc.” This memorable expression and meeting apparently led to him discovering the mouse, and Apple subsequently launching the first commercial mouse. [1]
In that context it seems fine to me. He's talking about a product. Now, clearly, "open the kimono" means to bare something naked. If you ask a person to be more "open kimono" as a way of asking them to be more open, I think that crosses a line. And, maybe if you suggest someone go "open kimono" on their work, that could be received offensively while not being intended that way. So, context matters. I'd probably steer clear of it entirely though.
The investopedia page is rather coy,
> There are conflicting etymologies for this phrase, but the one closest to its current business connotation is the idea of Japanese people loosening their kimonos to relax at home, much like loosening a tie. [1]
Women in Japan haven't exactly enjoyed equal status in the western sense and there is a boat load of subjugation that probably went into coming up with this phrase. The worst example is probably the use of "comfort women" [2] by the Japanese army in WW II. These women were enslaved for sex.
So of course a woman would find this offensive, particularly when directed at her, since if you know any history it is easy to imagine this phrase originating from "open your kimono and have sex with me." I can also imagine oblivious men in tech repeating it if they didn't "get it" at first because they had heard other men use the phrase without realizing its origin. However you do deserve to be called out if you continue using it while feigning ignorance. Your response should simply be, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the implications of this phrase. I'll stop using it." And if you can't do that then HR should get involved.
[1] https://www.investopedia.com/terms/o/open-kimono.asp
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_women