My rules for Twitter:

    * Maintain exactly one public tweet and one like
    * Delete all other tweets within 24..168 hours
    * Ensure that your # of followed == # of followers (this is for comedy, not metrics)
    * Never quote or re-tweet
    * Never reveal any personal or professional information
    * Have an entirely cryptic bio
    * Don't take it in the slightest bit seriously
    * Don't invest any mental energy whatsoever in ephemeral trash like social media

The only winning move is not to play.