After and Requires are only when starting the service though. If a service (stupidly) crashes when a network connection is temporarily down (someone tripped over the router's power cord?), it needs to restart until the network connection is back up.
I get your point, but these features are the bare minimum any boot system should have. If someone calls that “bloat”, they should go back and hit rocks together.
This is one of those things.
The 'After=' and 'Requires=' directives address this.
Depends on a mount? Point those directives at a '.mount' unit.
Depends on networking, perhaps a specific NIC? Point those directives at 'systemd-networkd-wait-online@$REQUIRED_NIC.service'
Point being: declare these things, don't wait for entropy to eventually become stable.