For #1, I usually just do no replacements unless I definitely would want either the first choice or replacement. It also depends on who does deliveries. When I got Safeway delivery directly, it was messed up all the time by the shoppers (probably the biggest downside with some services), but Instacart was generally very good about following my preferences. Of course, with no replacements, you might end up without some important ingredients so that can definitely be a problem still.